We are fallen people living in a fallen world.   Although we are created in our Maker's image, through original and personal sin, that perfect image has been fractured and broken.   God offers restoration through Jesus, yet we continue to stand in need of restoration and redemption.  This is the meaning of "total depravity" as mentioned by theologians - - that every area and portion of our human life is affected by sin.   Not, however, that there is no good within us, for the image of God is still present within us by God's amazing grace and gifting.   But every aspect, every category of our life and living is scarred and negatively affected by sin.    So, too, in our interpersonal relationships, even (possibly especially) with those whom we care for and love the most, our fickle and imperfect love shows through.   Our love is limited at best; perverted at worst.

I was reminded of our conditional and fickle human love as I was out shopping in a local store one day this past week.    And I came upon several aisles stocked with candy, cards and other items for Valentine's Day.    Sayings like "Won't you be mine, valentine" and "Be mine, baby,"  and, "I love you, baby, be mine,"appeared all over the products.    And, while this is all fun and fine for this Season, the love that is portrayed here is nothing unless it emanates out of God's unconditional love.    For God's love is true love.   God's love is not fickle and it is not based upon feelings.   God's love is a covenant love, a commitment.    You may neither earn this love nor merit this love.  It is a free gift offered to all who willingly trust and believe God and God's promises.      We learn about this agape, unconditional love of God primarily in the Gospels in the Bible, where we observe God's love first hand (in the flesh) in Jesus of Nazareth.    We also learn what this love is like, for example, in the letter to the Corinthians (I Corinthians 13) when St. Paul provides fifteen qualities of God's agape love (verses 4-8).     Some time ago I came across a resource entitled "The Love Test".    It is a tool that can help us better understand God's love for us, and help us demonstrate that love more completely to someone we really care about.    I suggest that you use this Love Test with a significant other in your life (a child, a parent, a close friend, a relative, a spouse).   Each one take the "test", then compare your answers.  This exercise has the potential of opening the door to some honest communication, and the potential of exposing some places where your love for one another needs to be fine-tuned with God's help.

I invite and encourage you to take the Love Test.   Determine in your heart to love the way Christ wants you to love and will help you to love.    Then, after taking the "test" perhaps you will place your completed test in a prominent place where you will be reminded daily of Christ-like love.  

  THE LOVE TEST  (Based on I Corinthians 13:4-8) - Please read I Corinthians 13 prior to taking test.      (Rate yourself from 1 to 10 on each of the following characteristics of love with 1 being weakest and 10 being strongest).

1. I am tolerant toward and accepting of my significant other even when he/she displeases me (patient, verse 4)       Rating _______

2. I am sensitive to my significant other's needs and endeavor to meet them even when I do not feel like doing it (kind, v. 4)     Rating _____

3. I give my significant other "space" to develop his/her own potential and find his/her own fulfillment (is not jealous, v.4).    Rating ______

4. I refrain from rehearsing my good points when my significant other is critical of me (does not brag, verse 4).   Rating ____

5. I do not stubbornly insist that my way is best and demand that my significant other give in to me (is not arrogant, v4).   Rating ______

6. I am considerate of my significant other's feelings and courteous in my actions toward him/her (does not act unbecomingly, v 5).     Rating _____

7. I endeavor to look for my significant other's best interests as much as my own (does not seek its own, v. 5).   Rating ____

8.  I control my anger when my significant other displeases me (is not provoked, v. 5).    Rating ______

9. I forgive and forget the wrongs my significant other commits against me (does not take into account a wrong suffered, v. 5).   Rating _____

10. I do not take pleasure in my significant other's disappointments or failures (does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, verse 6).  Rating _____

11. I do not broadcast my significant other's faults in order to put him/her in a poor light (bears all things, v. 7).  Rating ____

12 I endeavor to treat my significant other with absolute trust (believes all things, v 7).  Rating _____

13. I look forwardto our relationship growing more meaningful and precious (hopes all things, v 7).   Rating _____

14. I do not allow our problems to rob me of my joy nor of my will to go on (endures all things, v. 7).  Rating ____

15. I am totally and unconditionally committed to my significant other (love never fails, v. 8).   Rating ____

TOTAL = _______

0 - 50   Improvement needed

1-100  Improvement desireable

101 - 150  Learning and growing;  keep it up!